Yes, everyone has a bad day. Every restaurant has that off-day when the chef has mono and a hostess just had a bad breakup/ a pet die/ colonic endoscopy. I hate to write a bad review of a place because of one experience because you never know what’s going on behind the scenes.

On the other hand, I don’t care what’s going on behind the scenes. If you’re running a business, you better bring a professional attitude to the table. Otherwise, you will be back cooking in your home kitchen and your restaurant will experience the notoriously high restaurant attrition rate. I know I’ve said it before, I will say it again: we’re in a freaking recession guys. You want my money? Then do your job and earn it.

See what I did there? I’ve moved from people-pleaser to hard-ass critic. Because I was completely, thoroughly pissed off by my experience at Gauchos Churrsacaria.

The tone I ended up deciding on is “pissed off.”

I took my husband out for dinner on his birthday, which falls on the 4th of July (see how long I sat on this review? I REALLY hate writing bad reviews! I want to love everyone’s business! Don’t make this hard on me guys! Help me help you!). I made the reservation over a month in advance just because you never know what a holiday will be like at a restaurant. It could be dead, it could be slammed.

We walked into Gauchos in Manchester at 6:30 pm and it was dead. There were two tables of diners besides us. A hostess, a bar tender, a waiter and guys who served meat were on duty.  Evidently, every person has one job to do and they can only do that one job. So a meat server will stand around while you’re waiting for someone to take your drink order or bring you a glass of freakin’ water.

I’m getting ahead of myself. The hostess seated us and we began looking at the wine menu.  The only waiter in the restaurant (which is beautiful by the way) was chatting with the table behind us. My husband and I discussed wine options and picked out one that sounded exciting.  And waited. And waited. The bartender was puttering around behind the bar (one person sat there).  The meat servers were standing around and it seemed like they were kind of waiting for something to do.

And our waiter kept chatting.

I get it. Sometimes you get regulars in and you have to kinda love ‘em up a little bit. We get that service at a few of our favorite places, so I understand that it’s delicate to extricate yourself from conversation with your regulars. So I figured I’d use the restroom while he was finishing up the chat with the table behind us.  On my way back, he was still at it.  I heard him say, “to me, it doesn’t matter how much you have because you can’t take it with you when you die.” Well, not only is that a trite philosophy, and a rather obvious one, but it seemed a tad inappropriate since he was neglecting his paid duties to share that philosophy.

Sigh. Pissed off.

So we wait and we wait and we wait. And then we’re wondering if we’re missing something. Are we supposed to just get up and serve ourselves from the buffet with the various side dishes? We had no idea. Keep in mind the restaurant was completely dead. This was not a busy holiday.  It was so quiet I could hear the conversations from both tables in the restaurant. So there was no reason that someone didn’t notice us sitting there like a couple of assholes waiting to be served.  But everyone probably figured “oh well, it’s not my job to go ask those people if they’ve been here before and if they know how our restaurant works.”

Then we start Facebooking how awful our experience is.  Then we start getting responses from Facebook friends that they had terrible experiences here before. Now that raises red flags for me.  This is not an off-night but another instance of bad service. Finally, I told my husband that if someone didn’t come and take our order we would just go celebrate his birthday at Hanover Street Chophouse or CR Sparks. I kept apologizing for picking a bad place to take him on his birthday. Around that time, we heard the waiter say, “I better go and check on this table, I guess I’m waiting on them.”

I guess I’m waiting on them. Um, did you forget that you’re not a guest lecturer at the restaurant and you’re actually, like, a waiter? And the only one working that night?

So the dude comes over and asks if we’ve been taken care of. “No,” I seethed. “Have you ever been here before?” “No,” I raged.  These questions would have been excellent to ask 25 minutes ago.  “Well, that’s awkward,” he said.

No fucking kidding.

Here’s the upshot: the idea behind the restaurant is a good one. In reality, the meat is dry and the service is so beyond useless there’s really not much chance of this place surviving.  Things got a little better once the waiter gave us cards to signal the meat-servers that we wanted them to come to our table.  So that‘s why the meat-servers kept hovering around, they were waiting for us to signal them.

First, why can’t the meat servers just come to our table and tell us how the restaurant works? Sure, the waiter should be the one to do it, but if he’s refusing to do his job does that mean the whole restaurant should break down? It’s a freaking cardboard disk. Walk it over to our table.

Second, they need a card to signal you want the waiter to come to your table.

Third, there is something very off about the vibe in this place. I can only describe the demeanor of the meat-servers as funerary. They weren’t very engaging when they came to the table. They were stone-cold silent, which sort of chilled conversation whenever they were at the table. There doesn’t seem to be much of a team spirit or cohesion among the staff. There’s no “oh, you’re busy so I’ll get these people started with some wine.”  There’s no pleasant interaction between the staff. There’s really no pleasantness at all.

Sorry to be so venomous but this restaurant was a complete bummer. Definitely don’t go here on a special occasion. Or any other occasion, come to think of it.

A few weeks ago, I met some friends for lunch at the newly-opened Crush on Rt. 101a.  This is Nashua’s first restaurant devoted to wood-fired pizzas.  Sure, you can get a wood-fired pizza at a chain type restaurant like Bertucci’s or Lui Lui’s.  But the closest other wood-fired pizza place, 900 Degrees, is all the way in Manchester.

So I am pretty stoked for Crush’s opening!

I got the Mediterrano, which had fire roasted garlic, sun dried tomatoes, rosemary, oregano, roasted red peppers, fresh mozzarella and fresh grape tomatoes with a black truffle spread.

Just... amazing.

The pizza is truly wonderful.  Thin delicious crust.  Little bits of carmelized veggies.  The cheese is bufala mozzarella and is so creamy and tender.  I’m salivating at the memory.  My friend Jenny (and LMT extraordinaire) got the Margherita with basil and other sundries.  Not pictured: The Insalata Caprese which I basically hoovered up.  Which is embarrassing since I wasn’t the one who ordered it…

So Crush pretty much rocks my world food-wise. Truffle spread on pizza? I die.

There is a catch, however.

A teeny catch.

There are some service kinks that need to be worked out.  For example, it takes about 90 seconds to cook a wood fired pizza but about 20 minutes for it to come to your table at lunch. There’s something off about that math.

It’s a very small restaurant and yet my server always seemed MIA. I could see my delicious pizza waiting for her to pick it up on the counter and she was nowhere to be seen.  Put the pizza in my belly!!

The wine list is a bit limited (or was when I visited) and they offer Smoking Loon red or white wines (I think it was either Merlot or Sauvignon Blanc). No problem, I happen to like Smoking Loon quite a bit, actually. Perhaps they weren’t prepared for people to order wine at lunch (hey, I’m a blogger. I drink at lunch!) but the wine was ice cold. Yuck.  My server advised me the wine was cold and I said, “Oh, that’s okay. I’ll just have water.”

She brought it to my table anyway, which meant I had to send it back (which I hate doing) and then it still showed up on my bill. Which I also had to send back once I finally got her attention.  That is not good service, but it’s not the worst service I ever had and since I visited during the first week they were open I figured I’d give them the benefit of the doubt.

The following week, however, another friend asked me if I’d recommend Crush for her pre-Warrior Dash carb load. I told her it’d be the perfect pre-race feast.  I was so embarrassed when she texted me back that the service was terrible (they lost the order for her table) and when the pizza arrived it was undercooked. Sigh.

Luckily, the owners of Crush genuinely want to make the customer experience good so I foresee these kinks will be worked out in no time.  Even though my friend was disappointed with the food and service, the manager did stop by to check on them and gave them complimentary dessert.  The trouble is, complimentary dessert will only get you so far.  She didn’t want complimentary dessert, she wanted an enjoyable dinner with her husband and a properly cooked pizza delivered in a timely fashion.  Crush has a lot of potential and, if they can get the service issues right, I foresee great things in their future.

Crush Pizza

603-521-7440

449 Amherst St.

Nashua, NH 03063

So that means that I am probably easily swayed if a company is run by nice people.  I’ve just telling you that right off the bat. I’ve mentioned before that I like to spend my money at places where they actually act like they want it.

So imagine my pleasure when Heather, the fabulous co-creator of Planet Marshmallow and I ran into each other at the Portsmouth Open Market and she had seen my earlier shout-out about her ‘mallows.  She was as sweet as could be and sent me along the Toasted Coconut and Chai Spice ‘mallows to try.

Dear reader, is it possible my review of these treats could be swayed by the niceness of the company?  Or by my vanity thanks to Heather’s enthusiasm about my blog?

This is entirely possible.  So to ensure unprejudiced, scientific neutrality I enlisted several taste-testers.  Two of these, my husband and his younger brother, aren’t big sweet fans.  The verdict?  These marshmallows are amazing.  A-MAZING.  I ended up donating the rest of the chai spice ‘mallows to my husband he liked them so much.  This demonstrates the depth of my love for him because I really liked them too.

My next test group was a group of Zumba students before class.  They, too, were blown away.  I think people are surprised by how good the ‘mallows are because we’re used to the bags of bland Stay-puff sweetness.  I actually don’t like traditional marshmallows at all.  What is the flavor they’re going for, exactly?  All I can taste is sugar.

What I love about Planet Marshmallow is how intense the flavors are.  The toasted coconut was so coconut-y and delicious.  Coconut is one of my favorite treats but it’s hard to find a dessert that has that rich coconut flavor but doesn’t taste fake (fake coconut is about as gross as fake banana). The chai spice was also similarly intense and wonderful.

Since it’s a bit warm to add the ‘mallows to hot drinks, I ate them as a mini-dessert.  One or two marshmallows can satisfy a dessert craving and is about 20 calories, depending on the flavor.

Am considering writing a book… “The Marshmallow Diet.”  I bet I’d make a fortune and, if everyone ate Planet Marshmallow’s creations on the diet, I’d have happy customers.

Final verdict? The treats are yummy and the company’s owners are fabulous, so I wholeheartedly encourage you to pick some ‘mallows up! They’re sold in an increasing number of shops or you can order directly from Planet Marshmallow.

South Street and Vine shop is the wine shop we love. We don’t go back to the others. It is the place where we go in “just to look” and leave with several must-tries. It’s on the outskirts of town and completely unpretentious and inviting and the proprietors are just.. NICE.  They know their stuff BUT they don’t look down on people who are just getting into wine.  I asked Win to help me choose between two bottles of Tempranillo and he pointed to one and said, “That one.  It’s just… yummier.”  So even though he talks about “tannic structure” and can tell you about the terroir of California wine regions, he can still speak like a regular person about wine.  LOVE.  Also, they stock wine that won’t break your budget but still pleases the palate.  Their motto is that their wine is for the table, not the cellar.  No stuck-up sticky beaks here, if you’ll pardon the Monty Python allusion.  The customers tend to be the sort shuffling around in shorts and flip flops looking for something tasty to open up on their sailboat.

I love that, when we mention I’m on a bit of a Tempranillo obsession, they mention a granacha that I should also consider.  I love that they discourage me from taking home a bottle that might have too much residual sugar for my palate.  Have I mentioned how reasonable the wine is?

We love the cheese selection (and pâté! and olives! and spanish chocolate!) and every visit is educational.  What’s the difference between wine grown in Sonoma versus wine grown in the Central Coast?  How does the French wine classification system work? What books should you read to learn more about wine?  What wineries to try in the Finger Lakes region? Ask Win.  He’ll tell you.  He’ll actually provide suggestions! And then you can buy 4 or 5 bottles of wine for less than $100 and trot home happy and enriched, despite this damn recession.

South Street and Vine

359 Marcy St. Portsmouth, NH

603-430-2984

So if it seems like I’m spending a lot of posts kvetching about, woe to me, the dearth of great wine shops, it’s only because I’ve split the kvetching up.  I’m not usually such a kvetcher.  Or such an over-user of yiddish words.

Next on our Goldilocks list of wine shop experiments is Corks & Curds, also in Portsmouth, to sample wine and cheese.  We’ve enjoyed their small but sophisticated selection and its was here that we experienced wines like Viognier and Gruet here for the first time. The prices are high and the people working there are a bit on the young side.  They never seem that welcoming or chatty (except one guy who really, really, really liked my husband).  We often feel like they can’t wait to be rid of us no matter how many times we drop a pretty penny on wine.  This is not a place to stand around exchanging fish stories.  We haven’t been back since last spring for this reason.

One shop with a staggering selection of wine is Ceres Wine.  The trouble is if you’re not sure what to try and you’re looking to expand your palate a bit, you will find absolutely no help from the owner.  If you ask for help, he’ll say “everything here is good.” Or ask, which do you prefer, this wine or that wine.  He’ll respond “Yes.”  That’s cute maybe the first time you hear it, then you think, “Look chump, there’s a freaking recession going on, gas is pushing $4 a gallon, and I’m here to drop some of my limited disposable income that’s left over from paying my student loans on your wine.  If you want my money, then earn it, otherwise I’ll go elsewhere.”

Sorry.  Recessions make me cranky.

Our wine mecca reveal is tomorrow!  See you then!

People who like wine.  And cookies!  Thank you! For reading, for commenting, for not saying “you huge doofus, go back to muttering to yourself and frightening small children, please don’t write these things down.”

While snooping around, I found this great post on Frosting for The Cause.  The title?  Cancer Sucks, so Make Pink Icing Covered Cookies. Agreed on both counts.  GraniteGourmet is exceedingly anti-cancer and pro-cookie. 

This is FFTC’s first male cancer survior/ frosting blogger. Go give it a read and pick up a great recipe. A link is up for donations.

Today’s exercise in philanthropy took me to Sweet Kuppin’ Cakes in Rochester, NH.  Cupcake bakeries are cropping up all over the place… like mushrooms.  Side note: if I ever had a bakery (which I wouldn’t because my baked goods suck — I am an eater, not a baker) I would call it And Everything Nice and I would bake cupcake tops (like muffin tops) liberally schmeared with butter cream icing.

ALWAYS buttercream.  Get the hell out whipped cream.  You need not apply.

And I would also serve wine. And weigh 600 pounds.  But this isn’t about my cupcake castles in the sky (am I the only one who fantasizes like this? Please say no!) this is about a real live bakery.

I sampled the Mocha Express and Chocolate Banana Creme cupcakes today.  I have a Girlie Mint (it’s a chocolate mint cupcake with a Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookie perched in the frosting) sitting on my desk but if I eat one more bite of sugar I will die.

Note, I am not a sugar lightweight.  I once ate a dozen donuts in one sitting.  Granted, my beloved cat Alex had been hit by a car that day.  But regardless of the angsty motivation, most people with normal insulinemic responses cannot eat so many donuts in one sitting.  And, with two cupcakes, Sweet Kuppin’ Cakes broke me like a wild horse.

The one trouble with Sweet Kuppin’ Cakes is that they have 200 flavors and their menu changes daily.  That makes it difficult to predict when you can try something amazing (like PB & Fluff??).  You have to haunt their Facebook page for updates about their flavors.  They have clever Twitter deals where you can get a steep discount if you do something zany like sing a song in their store or use a code word.  They tend to sell out pretty quickly as well, which further complicates the cupcake buying endeavor.

They carry flavors like Red Bull and Mountain Dew and no thank you, let’s move on.

So here’s the hard part about my job as a blogger… do I follow the rule of “don’t say anything if you can’t say something nice?” Or do I speak the troof? Because troofully…. the cupcakes were just sorta okay.  Like, don’t get me wrong. BEAUTIFUL.  Tasty, yes.  But are they beyond something that you would get at a bake sale?  Or a church pot luck?

The answer, sadly, is… no.

Creatively, I think Sweet Kuppin’ Cakes are heads and heels above most bakers.  I mean, who else could cook up The King cupcake – banana cake, peanut butter frosting and candied bacon on top?  I ordered one of these to try but somehow it didn’t make it into the box.  A co-worker raved about it, just as another co-worker raved about the chocolate banana creme.  To me the desserts were very heavy. The chocolate butter cream frosting was extremely rich and reminded me, dare I say it, of the Betty Crocker frosting that comes in tubs at the store.  I’m not saying they use store bought icing, I’m just saying that’s immediately what came to mind when I had the frosting.  And friends, that is not a good thing.

Perhaps I just prefer a more delicate buttercream icing to a heavier chocolate frosting.  But frosting is incredibly important to me.  Like, I am well-known for my frosting theology. I don’t mess around. I could give two figs about the cake, it’s merely a conduit for frosting.  If the frosting is bad, the whole thing is bad.  Yes, I have issues.

Anyway, I really, really wanted to love Sweet Kuppin’ Cakes.  Their Tweets are humorous.  Their cupcakes are attractive and inventive.  They are open daily — including Mondays which is a very good thing.  Mondays are sort of a flexible day for me and it pisses me off when businesses are closed that day.  I will note that the mocha frosting cupcake was SUPER mocha-y (it’s hard to get that mocha flavor to come out strongly, so I was happy about that).  I also wonder if a vanilla frosted cupcake would have been a little more to my liking.  I wish I would have gotten one but all the interesting flavors were chocolate frosted.  In the end, I am glad a place like Sweet Kuppin’ Cakes exists because it IS so sweet.  But alas, it’s just not my cup of tea.

Sweet Kuppin’ Cakes

16 N. Main Street Rochester, NH

www.SweetKuppinCakes.com

Open Everyday…
Monday-Saturday:
9am-9pm
Sunday:
9am-6pm

Anyway!  I love health food stores that offer more than just the promise of a healthier life, I love health food stores that actually make it fun to be healthy.  Liiiikkkeee…. say…. by baking vegan, all natural, whole grain chocolate chip cookies?  That are seriously kick ass cookies, none of these health cookies that smack of damp sawdust? That’s fun health.  In my opinion.

Or how about a health food store that has multiple vegan soup selections on a daily basis?  AND bakes their own bread?   And carries new flavors of Lara bars before ANYONE ELSE in New Hampshire did (and even beat out some of the Whole Foods in Winchester and Cambridge Mass… and no I absolutely did not drive to Massachusetts to try the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Lara bar and so what if I did anyway? You wanna make something of it???)

Oh, right.  Zen.

So this health food heaven of which is speak is Dover Natural in Dover, New Hampshire.  It’s family owned and operated.  They have more selection of coconut milk ice cream than any other store I’ve been to in New Hampshire.  Most stores have… four.  Dover Natural has more than four BRANDS.

If you’re gluten-free or vegan in New Hampshire, you owe it to yourself to visit Dover Natural and try their homemade treats and ogle their selection of gluten-free, vegan foods.  Try one of their enormous organic apples and browse their homeopathic section.  They also have an enormous selection of natural and organic beauty products.  I haven’t bought any of those, I’d rather buy cookies.

My favorite thing to get there (besides soup and cookies… and Dolphin Natural chocolates, which I’d never heard of before going to Dover Natural) is the Ultimate Green Smoothie.  It’s absolutely delicious… it has Kale, mangos, banana and a few scoops of powdered greens.  You drink one of those puppies for lunch and you’ll feel like you can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Go check them out and try their vegan chocolate chip cookie and report back.

Dover Natural

7 Chestnut St
Dover, NH 03820

603-749-9999
Fax 603-742-2980

Mon-Sat 9-6
Sunday 11-5

Their soups change daily and they typically have 3 or 4 varieties, one of which is always vegetarian. Get there early because their soup does sell out!  Soups come with a slice of freshly baked bread.  If you’re planning to visit, check out their Facebook page for their daily soup listings.  My favorites are their lentil soups as well as the pumpkin and sweet potato soups.

Sandwiches are available, although I think their bread selection is pretty limited.  I usually only come here for the soup and wonderfully crafted salads.  While you’re waiting for your order, you can listen to great jazz and browse their wines, candles, artisan snacks, stinky gourmet cheeses and pâté!  Oh frabjous day, a local place that sells pâté!!!  It’s just nice to have the option, you know?

The best part, in my not-so-humble opinion, is finishing up a light and healthy lunch with a gargantuan homemade cookie.  Their Coconut Chocolate Chip Cookies are my absolute FAVORITE cookie ever.  Soft but with a nice crunch when you bite into it… I die.  They have other homemade delicacies like pecan chocolate chip cookies, cinnamon roll scones and wonderful muffins.  But my heart is always true to the Coconut Chocolate Chip Cookie (or the CCCC, if you will).

Cooking Matters is located at 97 Main Street in Nashua, NH.

Phone 603.880.6200

Website http://www.cookingmatters.com

Closed Sundays

So you know Ima do it up today, yo. Starting with Great Harvest Nashua and their pumpkin chocolate chip muffin. I have a weakness for all things pumpkin, natch. Chocolate chips? Yes please. Oh, and did I mention that they have a special going on where if you buy a sweet you get a free iced or hot coffee? You have to mention this promotion. Go. Do it. You will thank me.

Here’s 5 things to love about Great Harvest Nashua:

They will let you sample, sample, sample their breads and sweets and not laugh at you when you’re on your 5^th bit of pastry. I tried the turtle cookie today (caramel, chocolate, macadamia…. everything awesome and delicious) and the cream cheese berry scone. Have to admit, scones usually ain’t my thang because they get a little dry on the bakery shelves. Not so at Great Harvest. Their scone was moist and full of juicy berries and deliciousness. I was in heaven.

However, I was not there for cookies or scones (or huge amazing cinnamon rolls — the rolls will be mine at a future date).    I got my pumpkin muffin (perfect and with the right amount of pumpkin pie spices) and FREE iced coffee and settled in to enjoy my sugar decadence.

Blurry camera phone pic

On an unrelated note, ever notice that if you go without sugar how FAST you move once you get a bite? Holy cannoli, I’m FLYING right now! Someone put on “The Wall!” Long and short of it, the pumpkin muffin was amazing. Get your biscuits down there and try their treats. You can’t go wrong.

They offer really cool, local gourmet things like marshmallows from Planet Marshmallow, a company based in our backyard in Milford, NH. Toasted Coconut marshmallows? Um, well, no, no… I couldn’t possibly… well, if you insist…. and chai spice marshmallows??? Are you kidding me with this?

Coconut love!

They also carry Naturally Nutty peanut butters. I confess I was unfamiliar with these prior to visiting Great Harvest. Where have I BEEN? Chocolate cherry peanut butter? For reals??  Flax and hemp seed butter? I mean, how much healthier and delicious can you get?! How many more gratuitous exclamation points can I USE!?!?!!!!! (Answer: Lots!)

Everyone who works there is so darn smiley and friendly. Probably because they are “Professional Loafers,” HA!

Puns! I LOVE puns!

Delicious bread. They’re not just decadent desserts baby! On my first visit to Great Harvest Nashua, I had the veggie sammich (they cheerfully let me swap out cheese and put in avocado instead).

They have soy milk. If you’re like me and you avoid the dairy, they have soy milk behind the counter and if you ask sweetly (and how can you not be sweet after all those pastry samples?) they’ll let you add some to your coffee. Love!

Here’s what not to love about Great Harvest:

Absolutely nothing. It’s an amazing place. I look forward to their expanded menu with breakfast sammiches and soups and such, coming soon.

Have you been to Great Harvest Nashua?  What’d you eat?  Make me drool.  How were the cinnamon rolls?